Something Special For Contrived, Extended Metaphor Fans

As we face Maidenhead today, which is the constituency of Theresa May, it seems appropriate to discuss the issue which is dominating all our lives. Wrexit.
Wrexham have been in the National League for a long time now, and it now feels like our natural place. Some have enjoyed the fresh fields of the National League, the exotic new locations we’ve visited and tantalisingly different cuisines. Perhaps it will be a shame to leave the land of Aggborough Soup and Eastleigh’s Spitfire burger to return to a world of identical arenas and defrosted Balti pies. However, leaving non-league football – Wrexit – remains a priority. Unlike Brexit, it is backed by the vast majority, who want to cut our ties and move on to greener grass.
Achieving Wrexit is not as simple as some might try to suggest though, and negotiating a difficult series of negotiations with the likes of Newport and Luton has proven impossible. No leader has been able to negotiate a Hard Wrexit, getting straight out of the division by winning it.
Such a dramatic change of status would lead to upheaval. New players will have to be drafted in to upgrade the squad, and familiar faces might suddenly find that they are no longer able to stay here.
Theresa May is currently attempting to achieve a similar change of status, but is hampered by a lack of authority. Working with a meagre calibre of colleague, unpopular and constantly changing strategy, her predicament is uncannily similar to the last person who came close to engineering Wrexit. Gary Mills nearly took us out of the National League, and showed this was no fluke by moving on and immediately achieving the feat with York! Mills’ version of Wrexit would clearly have been an unmitigated disaster which would have harmed us for generations to come.
Should we achieve Wrexit, the political wrangling becomes very complex. Will we support a backstop, and lobby for an extra relegation spot to the Conference once we’re in the Football League? This looks, on the surface, like the sort of issue which people decide upon depending on what their current circumstances are. If they’re already in the Football League, they surely want to close the door after them, and restrict the size of the trapdoor back down to the National League. On the other hand, if you’re in the fifth tier, surely you want to prise the entrance to the next level open a little more.
I don’t think that should be our aim if we achieve Wrexit. Arguing for more teams to be relegated from the division you’re in is common sense if there’s a bottle neck between the leagues. Freedom of movement between the divisions should be encouraged, because the top end of the National League is congested, like Dover will be when it becomes a lorry park after Brexit.
We should adopt a backstop position, widening the scope to drop back down, because it reduces the danger of us suffering relegation and being trapped in the National League for another decade. Obviously, I’d rather we didn’t need this fall-back position, and ensured that Wrexit means Wrexit. However, it’s expeditious to take a long term view and do the right thing.
Take the long term view? Do what’s right? As I use these terms I realise that my tortured Brexit analogy is massively flawed. Wrexham’s position is the exact opposite of the political state we’re currently in. Unlike Brexit, Wrexit is a no-brainer, and should we ever achieve it, we ought to be motivated by doing what’s right when relegation is discussed, and I’m sure we will. The people who run the country might not be relied upon to act for the greater good, but I feel that we can be.

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