The WST NEEDS ME*

My name is Dai Llaregyb Myvanwy Jones (Congy Red), and although I am not Welsh, I fell in love with the inherent Welshyness of Wrexham FC from an early age. I attended my first match at the Racecourse three years before time began, with my two great friends Lloyd George and Dylan Thomas. I watched for many years from behind the home goal in the ‘Dove Loft’ with my  delicious Welsh-Cornish Pasty and Guacamole side order, sitting on my father’s knee.

I am married to the lovely Roberta Jones(nee’ Shinton) with four children, Nat, Knight, Theo and Bailey (all season ticket holders since birth). My hobbies, other than WFC, are playing the Welsh Harp and polishing my wooden spoon collection.

My career has seen me work for several high powered, multinational chip companies (McDonald s, Wimpy, Empire Fish Bar) where I have been responsible for the multi-disciplinary synergisation of core platforms, corporate strategy, and cleaning out the fryer. I believe my commercial experience will assist the Trust board in achieving Champions League Football within three years.

My charity work for the community of Wrexham includes mucking out at The Town’s Cute Fluffy Animal Sanctuary (next to Dicken’s abattoir) and cuddling numerous babies, whilst giving rousing speeches on the need for increasing border controls, particularly over the notoriously porous River Dee exclusion zone. I believe in the principle that all fans should have a say in the running of the club, particularly those of high net worth, or those whose opinions are fully aligned with my own. I will be advocating that those people with less valuable opinions should be able to hold their own meetings, hopefully within a few weeks of meetings with those of us that matter.

My enduring aim is to serve the hard working families of Wrexham from the WST board. I believe that working together we can reduce chip prices to 99p, turn the Kop into a fabulous new Vauxhall car showroom, and fiddle the planning permission on Colliers Park to get some Executive Dwellings built. On the playing side, I will be encouraging the purchase of league veterans with poor injury records, because ; ‘they won’t be expecting that!’

Mark Griffiths (International Goalkeeper and media guru) has so far not indicated a refusal to second my nomination, and many, many of my other High Net Worth friends have suggested their willingness to buy an unspecified large sum of community shares, should my campaign for election be successful.

So, Vote for Congy Red, Your friend, Your Future.

*You are having to read this drivel because Mark Griffiths is currently on holiday. His agent has suggested he is in negotiations with ‘other clubs’, but still hopes to reach agreement to stay with Wrexham, should an agreement that suits all parties be reached. I know someone who says they saw him in the Grosvenor Hotel, Chester, but that is merely a rumour at this stage.

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